Day 14 of 21 day water fast

Wow! Two weeks finished. I am amazed at what God is doing in my life. I see myself putting on the attributes of the Holy Spirit. I find unforgiveness and bitterness and idolatry and self centered ways leaving me. I feel like I am have more compassion and patience. I feel like everything is brighter all around me. I have a clearer perspective on life.

I have discovered that Jesus uses fasting as a way to really show me those sins and encumberances that hinder me from full fellowship with him. Through prayer I find  that these are getting resolved. I intend to fully stay in the Word and prayer when this fast is over. I realize that I feel like I will miss the intimacy with God. But then this is just the beginning of my intimate walk with Him.

Day 12 of water fast

This day has been so hard for me. It is evening as I write and I am feeling so weak. I know that in my weakness Christ reveals himself to me. I am so thankful for this fast and that I get to be removed from the throne, so that Christ can sit on the throne of my life. I also believe this weakness is necessary to make me press in to God. For several days I no longer felt weak and I started to lose my intense focus on Jesus. I am thankful for the weakness and that it is pointing me back to the cross.

I had the opportunity to pray with two of my patients today. I am a home care physical therapist, and I feel like I get to be used by God daily to show his love to hurting elderly folks. The more I pour out myself to my patients the weaker I am at the end of the day. I see that I have a pattern in that I would generally come home from work after a long day of pouring into my patients, and I would feel the need to eat for comfort and relief from stress.  That method is no longer going to be an option for me. I must now come home for work even after the fast and turn to my savior to fill me back up and not the counterfeit; food.

Daily I get to see a different perspective on life. I see people at the end of their lives with their possessions surrounding them. Some are poor and some are wealthy. I get the opportunity to see first hand that we all come to a place where none of these possessions and no amount of money can stop the inevitable. It makes me see crystal clear that this earth is but a vapor. And nothing we strive for materially on this earth matters. I am so thankful that I am gaining an eternal perspective on my life from this fast.

Day 10 of the 21 day fast journey. ” Peeling the Onion”


This fast is stripping away the layers of sin from my life. It reminds me of peeling an onion. It can produce tears, but in the end it is well worth it. 

I really focused on day 10 on asking God to search me and to remove all ungodly attributes from me. I have been asking God to remove bitterness and unforgiveness from me for a long time. I am seeing unforgiveness and especially bitterness get peeled away. However, he reminded me of other issues that I need to deal with. I asked him to remove gossip, jealousy, idolatry, covetousness, and lack of contentment from me.  In fact I got the opportunity to work out gossip and jealousy yesterday. I was told a piece of what I would have thought of as juicy information by an extended family member yesterday. I would have gotten on the phone to discuss this juicy info. with my sister on any other given day. However, yesterday I was so convicted by these sins in my life, that I committed not to utter this information. I also committed to pray for the person behind the gossip and I developed a deep conviction that my first thought should have been compassion and urgency to pray for  the person involved.   The jealousy issue crept in later in the day. I saw a friend’s house for the first time and became jealous. I then started to tear my own house down in my head and obsessed a while over it. This robbed me of a golden opportunity to participate fully in worship through my church. My mind kept turning to my house and all that it lacks. I wrestled over this for a while last night. I kept asking God to take it away but I kept returning to it.  I woke up with a much clearer perspective this morning.  I realize that when I am weak as I am from fasting little issues can become monsters in my mind.  I believe God will continue to peel back the layers until the diamond in the rough bursts forth.  Thank you Jesus!

Day 9 of the 21 day jouney

I started a book during this fast that is entitled Vanishing Grace: What Ever Happened to the Good News? by Philip Yancey.  He describes  how many people in this generation view Christian evangelicals as prejudiced, intolerant, haters with right wing political agendas who are in their own little elitist worlds snubbing their noses at those who are not like them. Think about it;  the picketers at the abortion clinic who are bent on their picketing rather than loving the girl who is so lost that she would abort her baby; the judgemental intensity which Christians point out that lesbians and gays are going to hell; the constant attacks on all things left wing…. the list goes on and on.  Rather than loving these lost souls and finding common ground to love and develop relationships with them, we boldly and critically judge and throw stones. And in turn the number of young atheists and agnostics is growing.  I truly believe that not all Christian evangelicals act as I have described. I would even venture it is a very small minority. However, the postmodern world has lumped all Christians into this mold. According to Yancey, a survey done by the Barna group in 1996 revealed that 85% of Americans who had no religious commitment still favorably viewed Chritianity. In 2009 only 16% of the same group viewed Christians favorably. Social media, news, comedians all encourage the persecution of Christians.  My desire is that we show the world a different approach. Lets follow the example of Christ set in Luke and throughout the gospels. Luke 15:1 states ” Now the tax collectors (also known as the most evil scum of the earth) and sinners (synonymous with diseases, prostitutes, slave traders…) were gathering around to hear him. But the pharisees and teachers of the law( unfortunately the “righteous” bunch resembling some of us evangelicals today) muttered , ‘This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.’ ” Are we afraid to welcome homosexuals and prostitutes and unwed mothers and unrepentant aborters of babies into our churches. I dare say that these folks would not come on initial invite.  It requires true relationships as Jesus demonstrated over and over again.

I personally found myself the recipient of prejudice had always felt towards a group. I was suddenly a divorced mother of three in 2007.  I prior to this point we were a homeschooling family. I wanted to protect my children from “the evils of this world.” We were in a church with believers many of which home schooled for the same reason.  My family went from like minded safe to “a broken home.”  My kids were now labeled as the kids in public school with the divorced mom.  This was a difficult time in our lives. There were some loved my family despite the fact that we were no longer safely in the mold that was comfortable and acceptable to the church. I am eternally grateful to those women.  I had to come face to face with my own prejudice toward families that were blended. I always saw them as not  quite right or not measuring up in some way.  I was truly humbled and I began to grieve for all the folks who must experience the prejudice we felt.

Imagine if we remove labels and just follow the simple yet most profound command; Love your neighbor as yourself.  I daresay neighbor is not just the homogeneous, like minded crowd.  Jesus pointed the way.

Well this is what Christ has been showing me to this point in the fast.  I am excited to go into the world and show grace as Christ has instructed me to do.  Praise God.

Day 8 of 21 day water fast

Days 6 and 7 were blissful. I had incredible energy and did many little projects around the house that I don’t usually have the time or energy for. My body has kicked into a deep state of ketosis as is talked about on the low carb diets. I have become a fat burning machine! I notice that I have lots more “time” since I don’t have the food albatross around my neck.

I now realize just how much  I use food to avoid work and play. I eat and eat; then I hide by sleeping on the couch. Eating lots of carbs puts me on an artificial high followed by the low which requires sleeping on the couch.  This has been a vicious cycle for me over many years.  I have prayed and begged God to help me to control my eating habits. I have spent many hours obsessing about what I am going to do to lose weight. I have started most mornings for the past couple years walking 3-4 miles at 4:30 am before getting ready for work. I have read every diet book and tried every diet on the planet. My weight stays the same or creeps.  What I have not done is to surrender my life fully to God.  My incredible pastor Jon Quitt of the Tuscaloosa Vineyard said that God will deliver us from addictions as we completely surrender to him during this fast. I believe my deliverer is delivering me.  I have never in my wildest imagination thought I could be on day 8 of a 21 day fast. I have never made it to the end of day 1.  Praise God. I also feel other negative thoughts and issues of unforgiveness melting away. I am amazed at my God!  Thank you Jesus for the work you are doing in me!

Day 3-5 fasting journey

Jesus went without food for 40 days and 40 nights. The Bible states that later he was hungry. He obviously feasted on fellowship with God, and this is exciting to me. Satan tempted him first with food while he was hungry and weak. He  tempted him to use his power as God and make the rocks turn to bread.  Jesus stated man does not live on bread alone but on every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.   When Satan tempted him with power in exchange for worshiping him, Jesus flatly stated you are to worship the Lord your God and him alone.  When Satan tempted him to test God’s power Jesus told him you shall not  test God.  He was so full of God and the Word that he thwarted three major temptations. This is the only way I can succeed at this plan by filling myself up on the word and prayer!.

I am learning to have a hunger for the Word. I am learning what this means to hunger and thirst for righteousness. I find that I am tempted most during  times I was tempted to graze on food in general. At night just after the family has finished dinner and  the aromas in the house still linger, I find that I am suddenly overcome by temptation. I also tend to have these temptations right after work when I would normally unwind from the difficult day with FOOD! On day 5 I took up the Bible and a book called The Awakening: A New Approach to Faith, Fasting, and Spiritual Freedom by Stovall Weems.  Before I knew it when I was  feasting on the Word, the temptation to eat left. I started to have energy and excitement about what God is doing in my life. Weems points out that ” If you don’t feel like obeying God, then something is wrong with your feelings. I have felt like I lose the battle with food and a history I have with food addiction on a daily basis.  Weems points out that when our willpower is lacking it’s because willpower is not true power in any fashion. As i get my flesh out of the way I am giving the Holy Spirit his rightful place. My spirit is starting to let the Holy spirit be in charge and not my flesh.

Likewise, I have been testing my blood sugar levels ridiculous amounts.  My blood sugar levels have seriously dipped. Safe blood sugar levels range from 70-90. My pharmacist told me that below is dangerous. Sources online state that below 55 is dangerous.  My levels have gone into the 50’s and even high 40’s at one point on day 5.  I have found that drinking broth at night brings my levels back to the 60’s.  Also during the day while at work, a stick of sugarless gum or a sugarless breath mint brings it up to more acceptable numbers.  I have obsessed about my sugar levels. I have almost fainted with low blood sugar over the years. I believe I have gotten too focused on those numbers rather than asking God to hlep me to stay the course as the sugar levels adjust to the fast.  I know now that my flesh still wants an excuse to get out when times get tough.  I am no longer going to look to my plummeting sugar levels as an out.  I have decided to persevere and trust that God has my back.

Day 4 of 21 day fast

Yesterday (Day 3) was a difficult day. My blood sugar dropped into the 50’s and I felt weak, nervous, stressed. I had a period in the evening when I questioned if this is worth it.  I decided to take a hot bath and then I started reading the Bible. I recovered from that feeling. I believe my blood sugar temporarily dips into the 50’s, and  then it returns to 60’s which is more tolerable as far as symptom management.  These low blood sugar moments are the times that I am most at risk for throwing in the towel. I feel like I have to eat to remove these awful sensations in my body.  But then they go away. It usually requires a conscious decision to feast on the Word of God. But each morning I wake up  so amazed that despite the crises the night before, I made it!  I get so excited to dig into the word and pray and to go to my church for a 630 am hour of prayer and worship.  This process is not easy but I feel that impurities are being burned from my soul!  It is so worth it.

Day 2 notes on Jesus fasting

Jesus went without food for 40 days and 40 nights. The Bible states that later he was hungry. He obviously feasted on fellowship with God and this is exciting to me. Satan tempted him first with food while he was hungry and week. He  tempted him to use his power as God and make the rocks turn to bread.  Jesus stated man does not live on bread alone but on every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. Jesus is telling me to feast on his Word daily.   When Satan tempted him with power in exchange for worshiping him he flatly stated you are to worship the Lord your God and him alone. I feel that for me as a person this relates to temptation to chase materialism, power in job etc. God wants my focus solely on him and him alone.   When Satan tempted him to test God’s power Jesus told him you shall not  test God. I need to stay in God’s will and not test him in my life.  He was so full of God and the Word that he thwarted three major temptations. This is the only way I can succeed at this plan by filling myself up on the word and prayer!.

Day 2 water fast

I succeeded through day one of remaining on the water only fast. I did actually have two cups of beef broth that are msg free. This is to keep my electrolytes in balance.  I noticed that I had periods of hunger and then periods where I was distracted  from the hunger. It feels amazing to make it through the first full day.

Last night I woke up often and each time there would be a person or persons on my mind and I prayed for them. I read Isaiah 61 at one point when I woke up. I was afraid of the nights because night time is typically my time to struggle with wanting to eat when i am dieting. I generally have a hard time falling asleep when I am dieting. This was not the case last night. But I woke up at 3 and did not fall asleep again till around 430. However, I do feel alert and strong at this point in time. Yea!

 

 

Day 1 of 21 day water fast.

Today I started a 21 day water fast.  This is part of a corporate fast through my church Tuscaloosa Vineyard.

I am seeking to let Christ penetrate the walls that have kept me separated from Him. I want this fast to tear down strongholds of sin in my life. My life has been riddled with unforgiveness, fear, anxiety, depression, rejection and unbelief. Psalm 40:1-3 states:

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit (unforgiveness, fear, anxiety,depression,unbelief, rejection), out of the mud and mire, he set my feet on a rock and  gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.

It thrills me that my life could be so changed that people would see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.